Even the happiest family can encounter conflict, especially in times of significant change. For experienced estate planning attorneys, conflict is a well-known topic in sessions with their clients. Clients may imagine that their family members would work peacefully together to find final resolutions with the final plans and distribution of assets. Unfortunately, the emotional trigger of traumatic change can significantly influence the relationships inside the family, and influence practical decision making. Family members will find themselves reacting to situations very differently than under normal circumstances. With proper planning and foresight, these challenges can be mitigated by a complete estate plan.
Competition and Stress
Decision making is difficult when children or other family survivors are left with the responsibility for end-of-life care, burial or funeral plans, or division and distribution of assets. Family members may also be inclined to jockey for the position of Personal Representative or trustee when one is not formally named. Family members may try to compete for power or use shame or guilt tactics to influence decisions. This can result in high emotions and stress which can quickly escalate to a devastating family conflict. Conflicts of this nature can evolve into years of resentment between family members.
Communication is key to preventing or reducing conflict from occurring. Conversations with your family members can be difficult when discussing end-of-life care, funeral arrangements, or distribution of assets. When having these conversations, be transparent and consistent with the message you are trying to share. Share the “why” behind the decisions. This will help to reduce any questioning or self- doubt among your children. Also, it is always a good idea to have multiple family members present so that they hear the same message. Keep in mind that a conversation is not the sole method to reduce conflict in estate planning.
Facilitate Communication; Reduce Stress
It is important to solidify your final wishes and plans in an official estate planning process. An estate planning attorney can help you develop the documents that you need for a complete estate plan. This can include advanced health care directives, burial and funeral arrangements, a list of personal property, designation of roles or appointments to carry forth the plan, and any administrative designations outside of the family. Your estate plan can include anything that you wish. This could include a legacy contact for your social media accounts, passwords to important access points, power of attorney documents, or plans for a charitable donation. What you include in your estate plan is up to you. Your estate planning professional will help you to determine the most important elements of a fully prepared plan, especially if you want to reduce conflict, questions, or doubt among your surviving family members.
By continuing to lead the way for your children with an estate plan, you will lessen the emotional triggers of such a stressful time. You will provide them an element of comfort and security in knowing that your final wishes can be executed according to your desired plan. To begin the process, contact your estate planning attorney today!
